Family Relationship · Hurt & Pain · poetry

Apologetic Touch

KdeenW Hands

We drive in silence for minutes

Suddenly he reaches over and rests his hand on my leg

As I respond, he grabs my hand and our fingers intertwine

I feel compassion, as my heart warms, and we embrace emotionally just by holding hands

Every ought I had against him melts away, and I accept his touch as a sincere unspoken apology

It is his affirmation that he never means to hurt me in any way.

He loves me and I love him more than to hold a grudge

I love him more than my pride

Every hurt vaporizes just by his touch

And nothing else matters but our love.


KdeenWildman (C) All Rights Reserved


Trying to save the world

save the world (2)

I’ve realized that I can’t be there for everyone who needs help.

There’ll be obligations that I just can’t make and times when I have to say ‘no’ .

I can’t save the world.

I can barely keep my own life in order!

I’ve realized that I won’t meet all my deadlines or do things perfectly the first time.

There will be weeks when my laundry piles up to the ceiling and my bedroom is upside down.

There’ll be days when I can’t find the will to eat healthy.

Yes, for a moment I’ll fantasize about waking at 5:00am for a walk but instead hit the snooze button 10 times.

Some days I’ll be late, and stuck in traffic, and on another day I’m on the wrong side of the law, getting a speeding ticket.

A time will come when I’m so flustered, I freak out for the slightest thing, and then I’ll have times when I couldn’t care less/

I’ll endure seasons of feeling like a failure and being overwhelmed with life.

There’ll be months when I don’t bother to make a budget, because I know it simply won’t balance.

Sometimes I’ll prepare an everlastingly long ‘To-do’ list and barely make through even one task by the end of the day.

There are times when I’ll wonder if I’m really making progress, and achieving anything worthwhile because it feels like I’m spinning around in circles, running around like a headless chicken.

Saving the world

But I believe that as long as I keep going, I have another day to set things in order. I have another chance to make meagre ends meet. I have another prayer and so much hope for the future. Because, for every overwhelming reality, I serve a sovereign God who reassures me that He’s got this! I don’t need to save the world, because He already did.

KdeenWildman (C) All Rights Reserved

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Christian · Christian Journey · Uncategorized

The God of the Roller Coaster ride

I have accepted that things will not happen how I envision. But whatever happens, I will not question God, not this time. Continue reading “The God of the Roller Coaster ride”


While you wait…


“Wait on the Lord: be of good courage, and he shall strengthen thine heart: wait, I say, on the Lord.” Psalm 27:14

KdeenWildman (C) All Rights Reserved

Christian · Christian Journey · Hurt & Pain · Lessons Learned · Uncategorized

Spoilt Plants


My mom was away for a few weeks, and I was tasked with watering her plants, among other things. This is not something I normally do, and I actually forgot that the plants needed watering until a few days into her being away. Finally when I remembered I got on it. Then I missed a couple days. The next time I watered, I noticed some of the plants with shriveled leaves pointing downward. And I thought “What spoilt plants! Why do they need to be watered EVERYDAY?! Can’t they survive on what they got a couple days before?” Other plants stood up to the heat of the sun, but these shriveled ones apparently weren’t so strong, and needed more care.

A week later, I experienced one of my worst weeks in a while. I’ve had bad days, but this time, it was a bad week. Money challenges, damaging my car by reversing in a metal post, demands on my time from the ministry, and packed work days. My day would start horrible and end a bit cheerful, or start great and end with me bursting into tears. By Friday, I was a blubbering mess. I needed help! I needed someone to rescue me. I was that plant with dried up, withered leaves, bending over under the pressure of life. I struggled to smile. My tears were flowing freely, all Friday morning, as I took on another busy day of meetings and emails.

I cried out and God came to my rescue. I felt watered by the end of the day. I was refreshed and uplifted as my darling husband left work early to run errands for me, and my mentor encouraged and prayed for me. I made headway with my other tasks. Though the pathway is still not clear, my emotions are no longer in turmoil over the life’s challenges. I will trust God each day, and I have no doubt that He will make a way.

I watered the plants Sunday morning, with sympathy for those withered plants. They needed rescuing, and I was there for that.  I was more than happy to give them their much needed drink of water, and felt pleased to see those which were already responding to their refreshing, by standing a little taller, leaves spread out like open palms, and raised upwards. Yes, the plants too, gave God thanks for His blessings.


So sometimes we need to be rescued, because life gets too much to bear. If you are in need of a refreshing, God is able to take you through the storm. If you can, find someone to talk to, who can pray with and encourage you. We need each other to make it.

“The generous will prosper; those who refresh others will themselves be refreshed.” Proverbs 11:25

KdeenWildman (C) All Rights Reserved

Christian Journey · Uncategorized

When Nothing Comforts Your Heart


KdeenWildman (C) All Rights Reserved

Christian · Christian Journey · Uncategorized

Reconnect with God


Reconnect with God

Not forced or prodded

But a deliberate choice to commune with God

Daily reading His Word, talking to Him

Pouring out, in honesty, every heartache, burden and need
Continue reading “Reconnect with God”